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Courtesy of Others ~
You Might be a Viking if...
...if bartenders keep asking you, "What's mead?"
...if you rate your new cars in Oarpower instead of Horsepower.
...if you consider beer and herring a gourmet meal.
...if a strange, very big red-headed man shows up for dinner and eats you out of house and
...if your new girlfriend is dismayed to find that you've given a personal name to each one of your kitchen
...if you think that a Lutheran is nothing more than a quick source of money.
...if you think that attacking and looting small towns is a good way to meet
...if, after reciting your family lineage and history, you find that your friends all left two hours
...if you think that Helga, Gertruda and Snotra are really very pretty names for
...if the best thing you can say about France is that you left most of it
...if you've changed your name from Joe Schmit to Hrafnkel Niflgrimsson..
...if modern day piracy off of the Florida coast sounds to you like a good career
...if you think that Old Norse is an easy-to-learn, attractive and user-friendly
...if your idea of heavy spices are salt and pepper.
...if you wave a spear over the visiting basketball team and offer their souls to
...if you think that a trip to Iowa is an exotic adventure, you might be a very brave viking.
...if you finish your European vacation with more money than when you started..
...if a strange, one-handed man shows up at your house, drinks all your beer, pronounces sentence on your fundamentalist neighbor, points out all the legal inaccuracies of the latest "NYPD Blues" and leaves a huge wolf chained to your new Ford Mustang, you might be a viking.
© Nordhvind Odhinnsgodi, Drighten of the Pig's Eye Hearth
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