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~ By Courtesy of Others ~

 

The Ordeal

Sometimes pain is a good thing
The passage of time
Through chosen mediums.
The fears become one with our self
Forcing us to break down
Forcing us to crumble…
I know in spite of ourselves what we wish never to see.
This brings pain
This brings sadness
This brings agony
Sometimes even madness….
Then you get lost.
The middle begins…
You lost sight of where you started
Not sure of the end.
You travel through yourself
Faster than before
You fight for your life.
Unsure what you are fighting for…
Anymore..
The blurriness in your head
Becomes all you see.
You lose yourself..
Lose yourself..
And then finally.
You give it up.
You stop caring whether you were here
Whether you were there.
Who you are or may not be.
You stop all of this Jibberish
And you don’t know anymore.
You stop knowing.
This is the point where everything is erased
The point where the “wisdom” you had
Turns into a substance more than ego.
You sacrifice yourself…
Your ego.. and you give it up..
Back to the ether…
Back to the Earth…
You die inside.
“Le Petit Mort”… Inwgaz…
A little death.
You feel yourself gone.
You are missing for one sweet moment,
You let go.
You let go and remember yourself.
As you were before all of this.
In spirit…
And nothing else.
Then something…
The all…the ether…
It revives you.
You become your truest self…
You are enlivened by being…
Simply being.
You become more than you were…
You come back to your core.
You invite those things which once scared you so..
You laugh in their faces…
You challenge yourself.
You make yourself better by choice.
This time not out of fear… of the thing,
But fear of not learning.
Fear of not challenging yourself to be better.
Fear of being the same
Monotone… like all the other egos.
Walking talking… giving random advice.
You become what you never were.
Unafraid.
Fearless.
Knowledgeable.
Wise.
Discerning.
Calm.
At Peace.
This is the Ordeal.

© Dryad L. Wood, 21 March 2012

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