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~ By Courtesy of Others ~

 

Tough

Loki knows exactly
what will make you hurt.
He sees your weaknesses
clearly, like rainwater
through a glass window,
and if you are particularly
lucky (or unlucky),
rather than getting
succor and indulgence,
you get a hot, sharp knife
stabbing hard and deep,
right into the middle of
that open and festering wound.

It slides wetly back out,
leaving you gasping and sick.
He licks your blood
slowly, thoughtfully
from its gleaming blade,
then his eyes change color,
he smiles sharply,
and does it again.

And again, as often
as he thinks you need it,
in spite of how much
you beg and scream
for it to stop because
you canít stand it anymore.
Tough, he says without concern,
as his knife goes in again.

He does not enjoy it
when your pains
and delirium and denial
become boring and tedious.
He gets tired of you
and your whining.
Contrary to popular belief,
he does not thrive
on the same old drama.

So he reaches out
before you can say anything
and tears your heart,
beating and pulsing,
right out of your chest,
and watches it in his palm
as it slowly stills and dies.
And then he devours it.

You watch as he eats,
leaves no trace of your heart,
not the smallest vein or muscle.
Then Loki will, ever so
carefully, maybe even
gently, inform you
how stupid and childish
and foolish you are,
while chewing thoughtfully
on the essence of your being
and smiling that cruel smile
through scarred and
bloodstained lips.

Maybe you will really hate him,
maybe youíll be too stunned
to know what to think,
or maybe, just maybe
youíll get it the first time
without further explanation,
even while you brace yourself
for each deep knife-thrust
right where it hurts most.

You donít have to like it,
but once it begins, you cannot avoid it.
And you didnít really need a heart
so unreliable, so flimsy,
and so inclined to breaking,
anyway.

After that, what goes on
between you and him
is really none of
anybody elseís business.
But one thing is certain:
Loki knows exactly
what will make you hurt.
And he knows too that
sometimes, being hurt
is the only way to heal,
whether you want to be
made whole
or not.

© Elizabeth Vongvisith
 
from: "Trickster, My Beloved: Poems for Laufey's Son"
Elizabethīs books are available at Asphodel Press.


This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

Twilight and Fire - Mysticism, devotion, and explorations of the heart.

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