~ By Courtesy of Others ~
Heathens At the Stop Sign
I'm sure that at least some of you have seen humorous lists describing how various Christian and/or Jewish sects would
"interpret" stop signs, if they used the same approaches as they do for the
1. The strict reconstructionist Heathen would complain that stop signs are an
insult to the gods,
2. The modernist Heathen would honk impatiently at the reconstructionist,
grumbling that just because
3. The white-supremacist "Heathen" would rear-end a black/Asian/Hispanic
4. The militantly Folkish Heathen doesn't mind stopping at signs, as long as
5. The militantly non-Folkish Heathen doesn't mind stopping at signs either,
6. The rune-obsessed Heathen will do one of two things: (a) meditate briefly
on Isa as he waits,
7. The eclectic Heathen, approaching the stop sign, decides whether or not to
Collected by Ingeborg S. Nordén, and others on the net:
The Complete and Utter Nutcase Heathen will write a rambling, semi-coherent screed (in all capitals, and shot through with quotes from his own translation of the Eddas and odd linguistic theories intended to prove that Atlantis was the original Norse homeland located in Polynesia) about how stop signs are manifested to warn unfriendly aliens (JOTUN = URANUS TIKI GOD ENEMY OF ODIN/WOTAN/A'AKUEWO) away from the entrance to Asgard, which is in fact inside the hollow Earth.
The strict reconstructionist is still there. The Lore clearly says "STOP", but going again once traffic is clear is strictly UPG.
No…the strict reconstructionist carries the oldest known driver-examination booklet from his state's DMV in the glove compartment, and times his stops according to the descriptions printed there.
An esoteric-minded Heathen associates the shape with the eight "otherworlds" surrounding our own, and concludes that the original purpose of the sign was to stop hostile outdwellers from entering Midgard. He cites the sign's red color as further evidence of its "true" magical purpose.
The anti-Semitic and/or Bible-bashing Heathen, on the other hand, will retort that the number eight is equally common in Judaism and the Hebrew Bible; he will also point to the signs' red color as "proof" that Jews use human blood in some holiday ceremonies. Therefore, stop signs are a clear symbol of the dominant Judeo-Christian culture's attempt at "stopping" Heathens from practicing their true ancestral tradition--and should be vandalized or destroyed whenever possible.
The more-scholarly-than-thou heathen will complain because the stop sign should be written in Old Norse.
The language freak will speculate exactly which Old Norse (or Anglo-Saxon) word carries the perfect shade of meaning to label a stop sign.
The scholarly esotericist will speculate on whether the variety of words available for "stop" should be taken as evidence for Norse awareness of different soul parts, or different worlds, or both.
The militant tribalist will obey stop signs in his own neighborhood, but ignore them in Chinatown or Little Italy because "foreign" traffic rules don't apply to him.
The strict Norse/Anglo-Saxon/Continental Heathen will research traffic safety laws in his chosen European country, and react to stop signs accordingly--no matter where he's driving at the time.
The pan-Germanicist riding with him will point out that stop signs look the same almost everywhere in the world, and that anyone who's learned enough to have a driver's license should have the common sense to stop the same way as other cars around him.