Courtesy of Others ~
Sitting alone, crying, screaming,
I curse the Nornir.
I put the noose around my neck.
Handmade, slowly, painstakingly, over the last few years.
Each strand woven from my hatred of this world,
braided with my pain,
I spent these years spinning,
working my fingers to the bone ..
weaving on my loom of wasted life.
Threads of heroin,
cocaine and blades,
my only companions.
The noose tightens around my neck.
I'm wrapped tightly in a warm, fuzzy blanket of smoke,
sedation, vomit and blood.
My pain begins to fade as my limbs become useless
and Midgard starts to blur.
I pray that this will be the last time.
and a contented smile crosses my face ..
for the first time in so long ...oh so long.
I walk the Helvegr.
As I approach Her hall, I am unafraid.
I do not feel alone.
I kneel before the throne of the implacable One.
She holds out her skeletal hand
and I begin to weep ..
She embraces me,
Cradles my broken soul
As Her father did
when she was just a half-dead little girl,
so long ago ...
oh so long ago.
I try to speak,
but the words will not come,
For they are unnecessary..
My soul aches and She knows ..
Knows I don't want to go.
She holds me tighter,
with a mother's love...
As She kisses me on the forehead,
and begins to whisper in my ear,
Her world fades ...
You have another chance.
You are mine.
I awaken in the hospital bed,
knowing what must be done,
for the first time in so long,
oh so long.
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