~ By Courtesy of Others ~
Tree of Pain
As I walked and I worked
the wounds of my service
lit my every step with fire
I hung between calling the sword of rage
or meditations shield
to take me out of the pain
When I chose instead, for reasons unknown
to open wide my arms
and offer to Odin as a gift
As if in answer, adrenaline surged
my gift refused, unworthy
the rage of long habit slipped leash
With iron will I chained the beast
and hung in my pain for answers;
Like Odin on the Tree
Why refused my offer was?
the answer surged from my memory
bitter as the serpents spume
My child's face when yesterday
rage I chose over pain
and lashed her with my spite
The weakness mine, the payment hers
the shame burns so cold
as the pitiless eye of my Lord
Pain, a coin like any other
to spend for what you will;
like the loving smile of a child.
Never again, a child to pay
what should by my pain be bought
by my name, by my oath, I vow
Now I hang on the Tree of Pain
between the shield of peace, and the sword of rage
in the stormlash laughter of my Lord.
© John T Mainer,
April 30 2005
Image: © John Howe, www.john-howe.com